Lyrics to Hush Little Baby if they were sung in a Pakistani Household

Hush little baby, don’t say a word,
Mama will teach you life lessons that are absurd,

If you simply clear your throat the wrong way,
Mama will recommend eight paracetamols a day,

And if you don’t do everything I desire,
Mama will threaten to kick you into the gasfire,*

And if you want to learn a skill that’s fantastic,
Mama will teach you to love using a nara over elastic,

And even if you gave me a million quid,
Mama will still prefer someone else’s kid,

And if we visit someone and your knock they ignore,
Mama will stick a small bush through their door,

And if we’re out in public, don’t even blink,
Mama will worry about what others will think,

And even if you come home with a first class degree,
Mama would prefer you to learn how to make biriyani,

And if any kind of occasion is billed,
Mama will ensure 200 samosas are filled,

And if you’d prefer to hear of Mary’s little lamb,
Mama doesn’t care cuz singing is haram,**

And if you don’t note this all down,
You’ll be the last girl to get a rishtha in town.

*For those that are familiar with the threat, “Lath mari na, thei gas ni vich bari jase”


12 thoughts on “Lyrics to Hush Little Baby if they were sung in a Pakistani Household

  1. Fatima says:

    Haha this is so funny! I’ve just used a nara twice in my life for the ghararas I wore to weddings when I was small. I guess that was probably because the elastic was finished at home and I had to out the nara in their instead but that was hilarious as it went in when I went to the washroom. I was at a posh hotel for a wedding and was standing there helpless waiting for help to arrive by itself!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. britdeshimummy says:

    This is very deep! It’s really sad to hear . Hopefully your article can help people realise that emotional abuse/ threats is not acceptable . Very sad


    • sarcasticmuslimmama says:

      Aww I am honoured! I will try to complete although I am really quite new to the blogging scene so may wait a while before I contribute.

      By the way, when I read your answers, it felt like I had written them! No wonder you find me funny! Lol

      Liked by 1 person

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